youre lurking in front of me
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
