I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
