Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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