Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My vagina just recognized that song.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
