There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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