I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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