im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
