i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize