Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
