Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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