I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
