After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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