1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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