Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
