i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize