I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
