Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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