so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
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