They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
