ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
