Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
