sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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