Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
