i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
