Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
