I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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