and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
