I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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