now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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