it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
