I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize