none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Non-Jews are for practice
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
