jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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