i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
