Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My pussy is not your playground.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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