yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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