Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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