11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Your dad touched me again.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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