He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
