ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
