duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
