I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
