I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
