the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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