So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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