I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i already hear my dad disowning me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
