Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
