On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
