they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
