operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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