Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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