You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
