I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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