I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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