i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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