The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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