Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize