i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
